Film number 8 – Tango & Cash
The most amazing thing about this film is that I haven’t seen it. The action comedy/ buddy cop genre was my favorite as a youth and any time I watch one it reminds me of a simpler time when cars exploded from one bullet to the gas tank, where the bad guy was always foreign, the cops were always on suspension, the police chief was always pissed off and cheesy one liners after a kill wasn’t just acceptable it was essential. Lethal Weapons, Die Hards, and any film with Jean Claude Van Damme, these should be hailed as a slice of true Americana and featured on a citizenship test. Tango & Cash was always a film that I was aware of as it was constantly shown on T.V. and everybody at school had seen it. I have no idea why it passed me by but I do feel some weird sense of closure now that I have seen it.
Right from the beginning we know what kind of film this is going to be, without even looking at the credits I can identify the score as being the product of the great Harold Faltermeyer, this synthesized background resonates throughout solidifying the mood and tone as pure 80’s. The beginning is textbook; Stallone’s character Ray Tango stops a giant eighteen wheeler truck using the smallest gun known to man. He shoots a bullet right through the wind shield causing the driver to hit the brakes, the giant truck screeches to a halt stopping right in front of Tango as the passenger and the driver burst out of the front windows. When the other cops come and ask Tango who he thinks he is going out alone, some wise cop proclaims “he thinks he’s Rambo.” To which Stallone replies “Rambo’s a pussy.” When we get to meet Kurt Russell’s character (who is cleverly named Gabriel Cash) a giant foot chase happens where Russell runs down a guy after being shot twice in the chest. Both the characters are the two best cops in L.A. they have also pissed off the crime bosses of the city because they keep busting their operations. The crime lords plan is to frame them for murder, Tango & Cash are sent to jail where they meet all the convicts they have put behind bars, they must then escape, get revenge, develop a beautiful friendship and find romance along the way. Oh and also kill a fuckload of bad guys and blow up tons of shit.
Stallone plays the straight guy and Russell is the rough and tough charismatic one. The action is nice and hyperbolic, Stallone kicks someone and they fly 9ft up in the air doing more somersaults than a Russian fetus. Teri Hatcher plays Russell’s love interest and Stallone’s sister, she looks incredible and performs maybe the worst dance/ strip tease that I have ever seen. I don’t know shit about dancing or choreography but I have no idea what the fuck she was doing on stage. James Hong (Lo Pan himself) plays the resident Asian Bad guy and there is even the ridiculous comic moment when we get to see Kurt Russell in drag.
A true product of the eighties, you just can’t recreate the wonderful feeling that these action films contained. Aging like a fine stilton there is a lot of heart in this film and a lot of entertainment to be had, obviously I would love to give this a huge score out of ten because it had a great pacing, didn’t over stay its welcome knowing exactly when to end, but the point of this journal is to improve my critical skills and make good judgment.
So out of ten it gets a 6, it should be a 5 but it ends with a slow motion high five! And that deserves my respect.
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