Today I woke up with a mission, I was going to do something that I haven’t been able to do for about two months, yes today was going to be a full cinema day. I saw three movies today at three different theaters and below are three reviews.
Film number 4 – A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Kicking off the day at the bright and early time of 11.30 we begin with a film that I never thought I would ever see, A Nightmare on Elm Street remake, WHAT THE FUCK!?
And more importantly a Nightmare remake without Robert Englund! Yes this film was pretty much doomed from the beginning. When this project was announced I was filled with sadness, so far Michael Bay and his merry men had managed to shamelessly remake classics such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hitcher. The Hitcher remake crashed and burned and it’s a great thing because no one could ever do justice to Rutger Hauer’s original terrifying performance from the 1986 film. Last year’s Friday The 13TH remake didn’t bother me that much because even though I have seen almost all the films I can still admit that Jason is a pretty weak villain. The Halloween remakes also came and sucked and made people realize how Uncharismatic and boring Michael Myers is. Were also forgetting all of the other inane and utterly futile remakes that have been made or are in the process: The Stepfather, The Children of the Corn, They Live, The Thing, Piranha, Let The Right One In, Predator, The Orphanage, Scream, The Wolfman, Last House On The Left, The Crazies, Dawn Of The Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, Prom Night, The Omen, The Fog and I haven’t even bothered to list all the foreign horror remakes. I am sick of these people remaking and destroying the original films legacy, if you want to get new fans to the series fucking rerelease them, people would enjoy watching the originals ten times more than these updated and tepid redo’s. To put it simply Freddy Krueger is a legendary film character and to try and remake him without Englund is the worst idea yet, apart from remaking Fright Night. The only horror remake so far that I have seen that I will hold my hand up and say that it was an improvement of the original is Alexandre Aja’s brutal, violent and harsh version of The Hills Have Eyes (which is also another Wes Craven original)
So time to separate my emotions and try to fairly review the film. We start with this very stylized and tiring montage of what is meant to be very haunting and scary images of dank dark spaces and girls playing jump rope. During this montage it becomes entirely evident that the director really is a music video director because this entire sequence is reminiscent of a moody Green Day video, lots of leaves flying everywhere over very empty and eerie locations. The titles just make me laugh, they are written in very rough and demented handwriting but it is as if the editor got scared that no one would be able to make them out because they super impose simple and dull titles right over these. The titles aren’t a big problem of course but they don’t help.
We open into a sort of dream sequence that is devoid of any tension or suspense because well we know it’s a dream sequence. There is no beating around the bush we can tell that it’s not reality and thus the first innovative suicide death is just pointless and boring, I’m glad to see the last of this actor because within less than two minutes of action his delivery is already the worst thing about the film. During the funeral we see the sad girl friend who is simply stunning, average acting ability but who cares when you look that good. She runs into a friend who is wearing jeans to a funeral and also suffering from nightmares, and they slowly uncover the mystery of Freddy and meet more kids that are being haunted, most notably the new Nancy. Seeing Clancy Brown is nice but he is again wasted in this film, when is someone going to give him a real fucking part again? So the kids start dreaming, start dying and start trying to save the day and nothing new is really seen. The deaths are all basic revamps from the first film and rarely use the ingenuity of being able to be killed in dream state. Some dreams are so poorly thought out its unbelievable, in one a dream happens because a kid falls asleep whilst swimming?
Most of the problem with the dreams is that they are too obvious the movement to dream state in the original was far more subtle and clever. These dreams then intersect a poor flashback and explanation of Freddy’s origins and the last remaining part of mystery within the film vanishes. Now there are a few great things within the film, the children read that after 72 hours of being awake they will experience micro naps which basically mean that they will have no idea that they are dreaming. This is an interesting idea to insert but it is not utilized well. There is a moment during Nancy’s investigations where she finds a kids web blog where he records himself talking about Freddy, we then see another video of him after no sleep for four days he goes to sleep and then smashes his head into the computer screen to kill himself. This is a cool sequence until you begin to wonder who uploaded this clip after the kid killed himself?
The final dream sequence is uninspiring and when the kids finally succeed and bring Freddy into the real world they kill him almost instantly and the moment is waster. To his credit the new Freddy, Jackie Ealre Haley does his best but just doesn’t look very scary his face lacks any real definition, and the makeup of “old pizza face” loses its usual impact. Its really sad that this film happened because it axis any hopes that people had for another Freddy vs. Jason type movie which was a wonderful and logical continuation for these horror characters that had already had too many sequels.
If I were to watch this film with no prior knowledge of the series I would have probably loved it because the idea of Freddy Krueger is so innovative and clever. It makes me sad however that some people will see this film before the original and never realize that it could be so much better. There is no originality or creativity present in the story, there is no purpose excuse or reason for this film to exist. The CGI effects are very lazy especially when considering the amazing practical effects of the original. I am at the point where bad CGI is really starting to frustrate me.
Score is a 3 out of 10 and I really do wish that this film was just a bad dream.
Film Number 5 – Harry Brown.
This film absolutely nails its opening as we see a group of hooded youths inducting a new member then joyriding with guns, they shoot dead a mother and then drive into an oncoming vehicle. This whole sequence is masterfully filmed on a mobile phone and never feels gimmicky in the slightest. It’s clear by the end of the credits that this is a film depicting the real London, the one the tourist board doesn’t want you to know about; it is also interesting that the UK Film council would fund this.
Michael Caine’s character is introduced and we see the violent and rough council estate that he lives on, in an effective and unoriginal way we see Harry’s day to day life, learn that his wife is slowly dyeing and are introduced to his best friend who is another scared pensioner. Harry’s wife dies and violence constantly escalates on the estate resulting in Harry’s friend getting brutally stabbed. With nothing left to loose, Harry ammo’s up Gran Torino style and goes on a brutal ruthless rampage all ready to get revenge on the one who killed his friend.
The supporting cast is spot on, authentic, ruthless, and evil. Whilst the films story slightly looses focus towards the end Caines character remains constantly entertaining and the tension lasts until the very last scene. Whilst I can applaud the film for its social commentary I cannot say how effective it actually was. The real thing here I can respect is it is finally a film that doesn’t glorify this type of violence such as The Football Factory; it shows a gritty tough and terrible world. Plot points become slightly circumstantial and the entire police subplot has a lot of material that feels as if it would be better off in its own film.
Great cinematography present throughout, why isn’t all British cinema made to this high standard? It seems as if London finally has their Man With No Name type vigilante character. Daniel Barber’s direction is very astute and I look forward to his next film very much. This was a pleasant surprise, I was expecting a simple geriatric version of Get Carter but this was a strong and thrilling film that you should check out. Be warned it is not for the meek, the violence and language is strong, and there are horrible scenes of rape and maybe the most disturbing heroin addict that I have ever seen on film.
In my opinion Harry Brown is the best British film made in the last 5 years and it is finally a glimpse into the London that you never really hear about. It’s a mature look at the violent and declining youth that films like Kidulthood and Bulletboy never did very effectively.
The score is a strong 8 out of 10
Now after the horrible start to the day thanks to the new Nightmare, Harry Brown woke me up and exhausted me all at once and I was ready for a stupid and fun action film
And that came in the form of,
Film Number 6 – The Losers
When I saw the trailer for this film I was sold it looked like a bunch of stupid fun and violence and I couldn’t wait to see it, then the horrible reviews and bad word of mouth started churning and it kind of fell off my radar. Disappointing box office followed and I was expecting it to be another dvd screening. I was tired and I was looking for some salvation in a nice stupid film that didn’t take itself too seriously and the film delivered. So lets get into the review.
A quick ten minutes and we already have explosive action and a giant hi tech jungle lair is blown up, then 25 Bolivian orphans are killed by the CIA! The action comes loud and fast and never lets up, the characters are fun entertaining, especially Chris Evans who cannot do wrong. We have seen him do this character numerous times and I don’t care because it works and it’s fun. Hopefully he’ll be able to do the same good job for Captain America.
Unfortunately I have not read the comics so I can’t say how innovative or original the writing was. The characters interactions and acting was strong and fun, one of my favorite moments were watching the Losers working in a doll sweat shop factory after they have faked their deaths. The plot is what it is, double crossing everywhere and lots of dodgy business deals. Jason Patrick’s arch villain Max is a fun tongue in cheek bad guy, very enjoyable and really sets the fun and playful tone of the film.
For a pg-13 it packs in lots of action and violence, the comic book title cards are nice visuals. The music video stylized editing is garish and annoying but in the end is just a minor quibble when the film is so fun. The action is horribly contrived but totally awesome in every way, beautifully choreographed and exciting. There is one plot twist that I didn’t see coming at all and the fact they went with it is quite commendable, it’s a simple easy film to watch and I’m sure if I was looking for some intellectual stimulation I would’ve hated this film to bits. The plot is over complicated but completely redundant anyway. If you’re looking for that processed manufactured American cheese this film does the job, lots of fun and with the poor looking A-Team remake coming out soon it seems that you could defiantly do a lot worse.
Score 6 out of 10
For being fun and stupid.
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