THE EPIC FILM JOURNAL - DAY TWENTY NINE

Today’s film was a true moment of self inflicted punishment, I knew I would hate the film to pieces, yet for some reason I decided to watch. I like to think you learn more about what makes a good film from watching a terrible one and if that statement is valid then today’s film is comparative to ten years at the best film school in the world. Another shameless remake coming 35 years after the original, directed by Tony Scott and starring Denzel Washington and John Travolta, yes today I entered my own personal movie hell. And so we move forward with my thoughts on:

Film Number 33 – The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

Instead of the original having the words ONE, TWO, THREE in the title here Tony Scott throws in the numerals to try and add slightly more suspense to this remake starring his golden boy, Denzel Washington. So for anyone that has seen the original film starring Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw and Martin Balsam I suggest you take my negative reactions about the remake to heart and seek out the original. Now we begin the film with a dreadful hacky MTV montage of trains speeding up and slowing down in slow mo and fast mo and every hacky chop shop bit of music video editing that you could think of. For a movie that cost a hundred million dollars you would expect the opening credit sequence to be at least watchable but unfortunately it made me want to jump onto some live tracks. The nausea inducing credit sequence segues to our introduction of main bad guy John Travolta (in Robert Shaws role from the original). Travolta and his gang like the original hi jack the train kill a few people make contact with the controller Denzel Washington (in Mattau’s Role). The ransom is given the plot continues and all the things that were brilliant in 1974 are lost and overlooked.

In an effort to add some more characterization to Washington’s character, we find out that he is very corrupt and on suspension from his high profile job. Travolta plays games with him making him confess this shameful truth to save a boy’s life, seems like a bit of a distraction from what should be a shocking enough situation. The plot continues to move in ways that make no sense, characters die no one cares, we move on the mayor of New York is introduced and yet again no one really cares, the film chugs along and bores to the core. Like the original there is the scene where the cop car rushes through the crowded NYC streets carrying the ransom money, unlike the original the moment is completely dull, so dull in fact that the police and the mayor say “why didn’t we use the helicopter?” a moment intended for laughs but will just make every one wonder “why was this film made?”

Elements are horrifically laughable; a boy brings his laptop on the train which causes the whole world to be able to see what is going on in the train via the most powerful wireless internet connection that exists. Denzel Washington consistently tries to remind us that “I’m just a guy” and we believe that because at this point we couldn’t care less if he was Superman. The film lacks heart from beginning to end; the original was subtle and allowed for tension to build at a steady pace making us invested in every single character, the remake is an overload that tries to build instantly and then realizes that it is hollow, then tries desperately to add some humanity in the second half.
The editing is a constant annoyance all the way through, the film will constantly stop and the time will appear on screen informing us that we only have 48 minutes until John Travolta starts offing the hostages. For such a big budget movie I am surprised that this very hoaky schlocky and altogether amateur editing was allowed to make the cut. The google maps style city scape image establishing the action set pieces are just tacky and unimaginative; a perfect example of technology hurting an action scene.

John Travolta’s bad guy is laughable, saying “Motherfucker” as many times as you can does not make you imposing if you look and sound like a douche. Who designed this movie? The whole thing looks terrible, lights everywhere and flashes; a sleek and neat train conductor’s office completely ruins the environment. Where are the coffee cups and the tacky posters the porno magazines, the unshaven and angry employees? No tension, no style, and no heart, the mise en scene is just a giant advertisement for stainless steel and low mood lighting.

It is a boring dull and unimaginative thriller that is anything but thrilling, save yourself nearly two hours and go and watch the original. As for Denzel Washington I feel that he may have gone too far into the world of shit films to ever make his way back. It has been ten years since Remember the Titans and in the last decade the only notable film he has managed to do was The Great Debaters, he needs to stop doing these films very quickly.

The fairest score I could give this giant disgrace would be 4 out of 10
Please do not waste your time.